So, here is the reason for my blog today - wow...I just realized TWO BLOGS IN ONE WEEK...amazing! I have been apart of a new small group at our church called Mom-to-Mom and we meet once a week. This group has been such a blessing to me. There are moms who have been mothers year, some have grandchildren of their own all the way to moms who are new at it! It is such a great group of women and I have really enjoyed getting to know everyone and do our study each week. As I reflect on the past few weeks I have learned so much already. The study is called Mom-to-Mom Heart Talk by Linda Schultz Anderson. As I was folding laundry today (right after Josiah went down for his nap) I was reflecting back to the first week of our study. The book presented 6 myths of the modern mother and they are:
*"Wonder Woman": you can do it all!
*"Super Mom": Since you are "not working," you can at least do it all on the home front.
*"Guilt Gully": Whatever happens, it's your fault.
*"Performance Pit": What you do determines who you are.
*"Yuppy-itis": Your worth is measured in $$.
*"Pendulum Problem": You much choose either career or motherhood - for life.
Then we were asked what one do we think we relate to the most. I am sure that each mother can relate to these myths and probably have an issue with dealing with these myths. I have ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and I feel like I am living my DREAM!! I love being at home and it would honestly break my heart into pieces if I had to go back to "work." (Please note: that I work harder at home than I ever did getting paid for a job outside of the home! - LOL). I am beyond blessed with a husband who not only supports me in this desire, but encourages it as well. I am blessed that he has a job that can provide enough for our family and that I don't have to work (believe me, we do sacrifice some things in order to make the paycheck last, but I am grateful for that). I will always be thankful for Josh's hard work and knowledge to provide for our family. Staying at home was always the way we wanted it to be!!! The myth that I can relate with the most is "super mom." NO ONE has ever expected anything of me...and that is what the problem is. I expect too much of myself sometimes. I can't tell you how many times Josh has asked me to take time for myself throughout my day, but in my mind I feel like if I don't get everything done when I want to get it done, then the world is going to come crashing down on me. I want everything to run smoothly in our house and it does!! I am not going to lie....sometimes I burn myself out and wear myself completely out. So, I am learning to balance life a little better. I am trying to remind myself each day that if something on my constant to-do list doesn't get done it isn't the end of the world. I want to make sure my two guys (Josh and Josiah) are taken care of completely...and let's face it....if I don't take care of myself then I am doing damage to them in a way. I will admit that I probably have a little of an OCD issue. I LOVE to clean...and I love walking into our clean house, but I am learning that things don't have to be perfect everyday and I am also coming to the conclusion that no matter how much I clean there will always be dog hair and dust (we do have a husky and have had him for 8 years...you think I would have learned that by now). These are expectations I have for myself and I am learning that if we want more children, life is going to be busier and I won't have time to keep up with the pace I am going. I used to feel guilty when I didn't walk the dogs everyday, but guess what? Not anymore...they are dogs and they have a huge back yard to play in. I walk them as much as I can, but if a day goes by that I can't do it, I don't beat myself up about it anymore. I really want to be in good health and shape, so I have been waking up early each morning (well, most mornings) to get my workout in before Josiah gets up...because once again...I struggle with feeling guilty if I do it when he is awake. I guess I deal with the "Guilt Gully" too. I am sure most moms deal with feeling guilty sometimes. Right now as I am typing this, I am thinking I should be mopping the floors, but I am taking a few minutes to reflect on this study instead...which is a good thing for me!!!
I write this to encourage all moms...working at home or out of the home...to make sure you take a minute for yourself during your day. You set the tone for your home...if you are happy and healthy, most likely the rest of your family will be happy too!!! I used to read Proverbs 31 and think to myself, no matter how much I do I will never live up to be the Proverbs 31 wife and mother!! My desire for myself as I read these verses is this (verse 25-28): "Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. HER CHILDREN WILL RISE UP AND CALL HER BLESSED; HER HUSBAND ALSO, HE PRAISES HER."
When Josiah and hopefully other children we are blessed with grow up I don't want them to only focus on the fact that our home was always clean, their clothes folded and ironed, home cooked/healthy meals on the table and everything was always organized. I want them to remember me playing with them, taking time to read to them and talk with them. I want them to see that I took care of myself spiritually, mentally and physically. I want them to see me as a woman and mother of strength and honor - a wife/mother who is wise!!!
I am almost positive that if I talked to another mother who has older children and struggles with the same things they would tell me that it is a daily process to let things go....to enjoy the day and not kill yourself to get everything done!! So, I will end with this: I will work on this daily!!!!!
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